Tag Archives: designing my life

I’VE FINALLY REALISED MY HAPPY and it’s not what I ever expected it to be


I take my hat off to all these amazing women running businesses, parenting, fundraising and travelling the world, without a chipped nail or smudged eyeliner in sight. They seem to be here there and everywhere, whilst still looking super glam, with happy children and an amazing income to boot. (They must have super powers, right?)

It’s something I dreamed of being able to achieve for years. But the reality is far from it and that life just isn’t for everyone.


I have a secret, that I want to share with you…

This life isn’t for me.

I applaud the success stories and share their tales with a beam of pride seeing someone’s hard work paying off. I follow Insta feeds with glee and use their model as a boost when I need a hit of motivation. Because ‘Wow!’

But, it’s not a life I want. It feels like a revelation to say it out loud and something I never thought I’d say. But I am quite happy in my little City, spending most of my time in my home with my family and a few, carefully chosen, friends.

For years I ignored my body and my hatred of long hours, busy social lives and no down time. And I paid for it. I was constantly ill. I look back at my social timelines and every other day there’s a ‘I’ve got the worst headache.’ or ‘roll on bedtime.’ and ‘I’m so sick of being tired.’ I look again and see I was on Twitter until 2am, up at 6am, working from 7am – 10pm, as well as squeezing in booze fuelled weekends around the Country.

A couple of years ago, after a heavy load of anxiety and depression hit, I sat down and gave myself a good talking to. I looked at my life and sussed that it was the constant pressure to do better, chasing a dream I didn’t really believe in, never saying no, being seen to be busy or being seen to be lazy, that had taken affect. I was running around doing things and seeing people I didn’t really want to. Trying to be someone I’m not and I wasn’t getting any time at home to just be.

I was unhappy.

So I stopped.

I cancelled plans, cut out the negativity from my life and now make sure we have plenty of evenings and weekends at home together, plus time for myself. In between spending time with the people who make us happy.

And I don’t feel guilty in the slightest.

Why? Because this is what works for me. When my life is steady and I treat my mind and body well, my mind and body are good to me. It’s taken me a long time to learn the signs, but my body has always been good to me, trying to tell me when to take a break. It’s only now I’m listening that I’m benefiting from this amazing bit of communication.

To get to this point I’ve had to make some sacrifices in wages and ‘things’. I can’t do the weekly ASOS haul. But all in all I’ve gained so much more.

I know it’s not possible for everyone to change their job, work from home and have a week of free evenings. But if you’re constantly having to drag yourself out of the door to attend something you don’t really want to attend, or you’re running around with illness after illness without giving yourself time to recover – maybe it’s time to sit down and think ‘Do I really need to do this?’

Does the person you’re seeing deserve your time?

Will the office shut down if I take a sick day? Or will I be more productive and less infectious if I go in tomorrow?

Would Granny/friend/Aunty/Uncle really find it that much of a chore to watch the kids for a few hours? Or would they in fact love to be asked and enjoy some QT with their Grandchildren/Friends/Niece/Nephew?

Do I really need to watch every episode of Stranger Things tonight? Or should I get a good nights sleep and wait until tomorrow? (OK, so not everything’s as easy to give up!)

Is my life really so bad that I need to keep chasing the next thing? (Did this for so many years!)

I know so many people that are running around like headless chickens. Sick, unhappy and completely run down. Who won’t accept help, won’t take a break and won’t listen to their bodies.

If you’re happy with your life and you’re well and thriving from the busy, fair play to you. If you’re unhappy, sick and constantly complaining about how busy you are – slow the fuck down, take a break and get well.

It’s hard to take a break. But it can be so rewarding. Listen to your body Mama and don’t beat yourself up for taking some time out. You deserve it. xx



Do you ever feel like your phone is taking over your life? I sure do. I go through phases where I can’t go a few minutes without checking in with Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Emails, etc. Despite the fact I checked a few minutes earlier, it’s a Sunday morning and no one’s posting anything new. Sound familiar?

I’m addicted to my phone and I need to do something about it.

Social media is great. I love it. Particularly Instagram and Pinterest. I do love seeing people’s amazing photos and getting a glimpse into their lives. (or at least the life they choose to post!) Real or not, I love looking at the stuff I follow. It inspires me to aim higher, keep learning new things and keeps me motivated. However, when you’re spending more time ‘liking’ posts and ‘pinning’ to your numerous boards, than you are in real life, it’s time to put your phone down and get your life back on track.

There’s so much information online it’s really easy to spend time bouncing from one great idea to another without actually doing any of the great stuff you’re inspired by. Or spending so much time liking posts and other people’s status updates on Facebook that you end up with no time to do the things that really make a difference to your own life. And then complain that you don’t have any time to do the things you really want to do or that you’re too tired to do anything you really want to do?

It’s so easy to continue on this downward spiral, and it’s not easy to get out of the habit. But guess which route will make your life so much better?

Life isn’t easy and making your life the best it can be isn’t going to be easy either. You have a choice. Either continue to moan about the lack of time you have and keep your phone glued to your hand, or put your phone down and claim your life back.

Which one are you going for?

I hope you’ve chosen the latter. I have. And here’s how I’m making changes to claim my life back and stop my phone time taking over. Are you in? Read on…


First you gotta get over the addiction and outta the habit. So put your phone down. Put it down and don’t pick it up again until you’ve got through your to do list for the day.

I do this during the day, at the weekend. That’s the best time for me. It’s a time where I try not to do any ‘work-work’ so any phone time is purely social (or time wasting!).  My husband is also at home, so it’s a good chance for us to either spend time together as a family, get out and do something, or time for me to get things done while the husband and son entertain each other.

Work out the best time for you to do this. Go for the time that you find yourself procrastinating on your phone the most. When is it that you feel most guilty about not making better use of your time? Set that time to have some ‘off line’ time. Do something else you enjoy doing; go for a run/go to the gym/cook/write/read/clean/spend time with your family/meditate/catch up on TV without including your phone! Or get yourself organised, cook a load of dinners for the week or something else that’s going to save you time later on. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do, just do something that makes you happy or that’s going to make a difference to your life and don’t pick up your phone for the whole time. (not even to snap a photo of yourself to post after!) Seriously, you’ve got to break this habit if you want your time back. It’s all going to be there once you’ve finished doing the important stuff and most of all, there will be loads of new stuff for you to see all at once! (always focus on the positive, right!) It includes text messages too. If someone wants you, they can ring you. No excuses!


Quality time with your phone that is. (oh what has my life come to?) But, hey I get a lot from social media and I want to make it part of my day, I just don’t want it taking over my life. So I set myself phone time. That’s part of my ‘to do’ list and daily schedule. In addition to what I need to do for work purposes, I set myself time every day where I sit and I catch up on my favourite accounts. Depending on the day (whether I’m working or with child) I set time throughout the day, around what I really need to do, where I have some QT with my phone. I usually give myself an hour at a time, during the week, and a couple of hours at the weekend. But you know your schedule, do what suits you.

I know it’s much more fun to sit and chat on Twitter and Facebook or pin about organising your home, as opposed to doing it, but focus on the end result. How good are you going to feel when you actually start ticking off those jobs? How amazing will it be to not have to rush around after you’ve put the kids to bed tonight? Get stuff done and then pick your phone up. Imagine that?


Do you take your phone to bed with you at night? Stop it. Just stop. My husband and I got to a point where we were rolling into bed, phone in hand and spending our final hours of the day glued to the screen. It doesn’t take a lot to work out that this isn’t in any way a good thing. Aside from the relationship issues it causes, it’s proven that the light from the screen disrupts your sleep. So if you’re going to bed with your phone, looking at your screen while you drift off, or checking your phone every time you wake in the night. Leave your phone downstairs. And if you use your phone for a clock or alarm. Buy yourself an alarm clock. (here’s some, but there are cheaper ones out there too. Google can help you with that!) Until your new clock arrives, at least put your phone on airplane mode and leave it that way until the morning. Just stop using it at night and you’ll soon notice the difference it makes to your sleep – even if you’re being woken up by kids throughout the night. (My, almost, 3 year old still wakes us throughout the night, so yes I can honestly tell you that the no phone zone still makes a difference to the quality of sleep between the wake ups!)

You’re just 3 steps away from making a huge difference to your life and if you can’t do it, please stop complaining about your lack of time, lack of energy and tiredness. You know the effect too much phone time has on you. You know it’s not good for you to use your phone late at night. So do something about it and make a difference. We’ve all got the same 24hrs a day. It’s up to you how you choose to use it.

These changes have allowed me to get so much more done in my day. Sure, I have days where I procrastinate. I have a lot of those days. I’m certainly not perfect and I won’t ever pretend to be. But I’m now really making the most of the days I can be arsed, by putting my phone down. You can do the same, if you choose to. xx

I found the quote and image on ‘this great article from LifeHack

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