Category Archives: Being Me

Life Update – a week of five’s

It’s a busy time of year for us. Most of our family’s birthday’s are in the first three months of the year. So it’s been all parties and family get togethers so far. This week happens to be a special week for me and my boy. So I thought I’d do a quick life update:

I TURN 35

I know, I know. Don’t look a day over 21 do I! But yes I am 35 tomorrow. It’s a bit shit having a Birthday on a Monday when your big baby has to go to school. But Mum always books all our birthday’s off school (whether you like it or not!) (haha!) So I’m meeting her for brunch then I’m taking full advantage having her around to have Marlie so I can have an hour to myself in the hairdressers. Can’t wait to get the mop chopped.

Oh how different birthday treats are these days hey. I’m so looking forward to that hour of peace and pampering and cake with my boys and baby girl when they all get home.

5 MONTHS OF MARLIE

She’s bloody 5 months on Tuesday. It feels like it’s flown by, but I can’t imagine our lives without this beautiful bundle of happiness. She really does complete our family. She wakes up in the morning with a smile and doesn’t stop. As long as she’s getting your full attention of course. She’s bloody hard work, let me tell you. But I’m taking a very different approach to this baby malarky this time and I’m trying hard not to take any of it too seriously. We’re surviving. And that’s as good as it gets right now. I’m still feeding her myself. Something I didn’t think I’d be saying 5 months on. But it feels so good and so natural with her I’m no where near ready to give up our special bond yet.

She laughs at everything and loves watching us all running around her. Miller keeps her entertained. Her face lights up when he interacts with her. It’s pretty special.

I never knew I had so much love inside me. But I feel like her arrival has not only given me a new found love for her, but it’s tripled my love for Miller and Dave too. My family is my everything and I feel so very grateful for all three of them.

MILLER TURNS 5

How is this happening? Miller is turning Five on Thursday. He’s a fully fledged primary schooler, going on high schooler, with an attitude to rival the fiercest 13 year old. Kevin ain’t got nothin on Mills. I don’t know where it comes from. Well, I do. I’ll blame his Dad. But I know it’s me! He’s fierce, he’s confident, he’s got a quick wit and the intelligence to out smart any adult. He’s flying through his first year of school with shining stars. I can’t believe how much he’s learnt. He reads books to us. Which is very special. The pride you see in him when he reads a new word is wonderful. A lovely new experience for us as parents. He’s also got a beautiful soul and I feel so incredibly lucky to get to watch him grow into this amazing person he’s becoming.

I feel sad that he’s going to school on his birthday. But he’s excited that he gets to take in sweets for his class mates. To celebrate his birthday he asked for a Disco so he can dance to Olly Murs with his family. And that’s what he’s got. He’s invited a couple of friends from his class too. But the family have been fully briefed to get their dancing shoes on. That’s Grandparents, aunties, uncles and the cousins. I hope they like Olly Murs.

I’ve been putting messages out on Instagram to try and get Olly Murs to send Mills a birthday message. It’s not going well. But I’ll keep trying until Thursday and see what happens. We’ve got him tickets to see him Live in the summer. I can’t wait to tell him. He’s going to be so excited. xx

I’VE FINALLY REALISED MY HAPPY and it’s not what I ever expected it to be

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I take my hat off to all these amazing women running businesses, parenting, fundraising and travelling the world, without a chipped nail or smudged eyeliner in sight. They seem to be here there and everywhere, whilst still looking super glam, with happy children and an amazing income to boot. (They must have super powers, right?)

It’s something I dreamed of being able to achieve for years. But the reality is far from it and that life just isn’t for everyone.

BUT THAT’S OK!

I have a secret, that I want to share with you…

This life isn’t for me.

I applaud the success stories and share their tales with a beam of pride seeing someone’s hard work paying off. I follow Insta feeds with glee and use their model as a boost when I need a hit of motivation. Because ‘Wow!’

But, it’s not a life I want. It feels like a revelation to say it out loud and something I never thought I’d say. But I am quite happy in my little City, spending most of my time in my home with my family and a few, carefully chosen, friends.

For years I ignored my body and my hatred of long hours, busy social lives and no down time. And I paid for it. I was constantly ill. I look back at my social timelines and every other day there’s a ‘I’ve got the worst headache.’ or ‘roll on bedtime.’ and ‘I’m so sick of being tired.’ I look again and see I was on Twitter until 2am, up at 6am, working from 7am – 10pm, as well as squeezing in booze fuelled weekends around the Country.

A couple of years ago, after a heavy load of anxiety and depression hit, I sat down and gave myself a good talking to. I looked at my life and sussed that it was the constant pressure to do better, chasing a dream I didn’t really believe in, never saying no, being seen to be busy or being seen to be lazy, that had taken affect. I was running around doing things and seeing people I didn’t really want to. Trying to be someone I’m not and I wasn’t getting any time at home to just be.

I was unhappy.

So I stopped.

I cancelled plans, cut out the negativity from my life and now make sure we have plenty of evenings and weekends at home together, plus time for myself. In between spending time with the people who make us happy.

And I don’t feel guilty in the slightest.

Why? Because this is what works for me. When my life is steady and I treat my mind and body well, my mind and body are good to me. It’s taken me a long time to learn the signs, but my body has always been good to me, trying to tell me when to take a break. It’s only now I’m listening that I’m benefiting from this amazing bit of communication.

To get to this point I’ve had to make some sacrifices in wages and ‘things’. I can’t do the weekly ASOS haul. But all in all I’ve gained so much more.

I know it’s not possible for everyone to change their job, work from home and have a week of free evenings. But if you’re constantly having to drag yourself out of the door to attend something you don’t really want to attend, or you’re running around with illness after illness without giving yourself time to recover – maybe it’s time to sit down and think ‘Do I really need to do this?’

Does the person you’re seeing deserve your time?

Will the office shut down if I take a sick day? Or will I be more productive and less infectious if I go in tomorrow?

Would Granny/friend/Aunty/Uncle really find it that much of a chore to watch the kids for a few hours? Or would they in fact love to be asked and enjoy some QT with their Grandchildren/Friends/Niece/Nephew?

Do I really need to watch every episode of Stranger Things tonight? Or should I get a good nights sleep and wait until tomorrow? (OK, so not everything’s as easy to give up!)

Is my life really so bad that I need to keep chasing the next thing? (Did this for so many years!)

I know so many people that are running around like headless chickens. Sick, unhappy and completely run down. Who won’t accept help, won’t take a break and won’t listen to their bodies.

If you’re happy with your life and you’re well and thriving from the busy, fair play to you. If you’re unhappy, sick and constantly complaining about how busy you are – slow the fuck down, take a break and get well.

It’s hard to take a break. But it can be so rewarding. Listen to your body Mama and don’t beat yourself up for taking some time out. You deserve it. xx

Charlotte Tilbury’s New Legendary Brows – my every day brow saviour

 

Charlotte T Leg Brows

I’ve become quite the fan of Ms Tilbury this year. With celeb endorsements coming far and wide, beautiful packaging and an endearing personality that makes her tutorials easy to watch, her product line is easy to fall in love with.

Having tried out a few of her products already I was excited to see the launch of her new Legendary Brow.

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Over the last few years I’ve started to notice my eyebrows are fading. Drama! I’ve never over plucked, quite the opposite in fact, so I don’t understand why it’s happening. But I’ve gone from full, dark brows to patchy, barely there smudges. My hair is dark, so it’s very noticeable and it makes a huge difference to my face shape and make up look.

I started drawing them in with an eyebrow pencil a few years back, I’ve been using a gel that was meant to grow the hairs back – didn’t work – and I’ve tried various different brow products.

There are some great products on the market. Luckily it’s all about the brow right now, so I’ve got my pick. But not all make the cut and some are just too dam tricky to use for everyday, quick and easy use.

Enter Charlotte Tilbury’s New Legendary Brow. A sculpting and shading gel that goes on quick and easy for us ladies that don’t have hours to get ready in the mornings.

Hallelujah!

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Perfect for my get up and go morning make up routine. The brush quickly darkens the hairs that are there and makes the whole brow look thicker. Getting rid of the patchiness. Yay! It gives enough coverage for an everyday look and when I want a more defined brow I use her Brow Lift and Shade pencil. Which I also love. It’s more like a crayon than a pencil, with a waxy finish and makes shaping and defining brows really easy. I like to go wow brow for nights out with a more subtle look for the day and these products are just perfect.

Check out the product line ‘here‘ each has its own tutorial so you can see how to do it. It’s so easy. Perfect first product if you’re just venturing into the brow game.

Teetotal Pregnancy – Sanpellegrino to the rescue

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I don’t know about you, but not being able to drink is a big deal to me. The first trimester wasn’t too much of a slog because I felt too sick to think about drinking alcohol. Most days I felt like I’d been drinking tequila shots until 4am, so alcohol wasn’t on the cards. But now I’m in a lovely stage in the second trimester where I barely feel pregnant, apart from my growing bump, the sun has been shining and quite honestly a Sancerre or a nice bottle of Prosecco would go down a real treat.

I don’t touch alcohol when I’m pregnant. Not even a drop. I’m not standing on my pedestal here, it’s simply because if I had a drop I’d want more and that would just make the whole situation much worse. So I stay away.

Apart from the odd tipple, I mainly drink water, so during the day it’s no big deal and I’m not missing my occasional coffee either. But when you’re not drinking anything other than water – and you’re limited on what you can drink – water gets boring.

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That’s where Sanpellegrino has been my saviour. I’ve had it a few times before and spotted it in our local butchers (Checketts of Ombersely – amazing place btw) it was an instant craving so I stocked up. And they’ve been my lovely bit of something different to keep me happy.

My favourite is the Blood Orange, but I’ve just discovered the Mint and Lemon. Oh my! Stick it in a martini glass and you’ve got yourself a fizzy Mojito! A total treat for the tastebuds and it keeps the alcohol craving at bay momentarily.

I thought Christmas was a tough time to be teetotal, but I feel like Summer is even worse. Or maybe, for me, it’s just any time. But hey, I’m sure the detox will do me good.

What was your tipple of choice during pregnancy? Come chat over on my Facebook page ‘mission2mum‘.

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